Nicky In Wonderland
by TheMadLiddell
Summary: A side series of random "what if Nicky came to Wonderland" one-shots for my story I Don't Forget, I Choose Not To Remember. Warning: no specific order of one-shots, cursing, and random acts of violence.


Author's note: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart/Diamond no Kuni no Alice or the amazing characters from said games/mangas/movie. Anyways, I'm thinking of making this into a series of random one-shots about what if Nicky entered Wonderland. If I do, they will mostly focus on her interacting with a Role Holder, Alice, or Amelia. So just like always, enjoy and review.

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It was a typical day in Cover Tower. The servants were working. Nightmare was avoiding paperwork. Amelia was being a little imp and trying to sneak out to see Dee and Dum, failing but trying. Just a typical—

"GREY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN!"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, _Miss._ _Nichole_, but this kitchen technically belongs to Master Nightmare, not _you_."

Yep, it was definitely a typical day since the arrival of Nicky. None of the Role Holders knew how the woman came to Wonderland. All they know is that one day the only foreigners were Alice and Amelia then BAM! A crazy bitch showed up and threatened (more like promised) to rip off people's dicks if they didn't tell her where the hell she was. You can't really blame the woman. After all, one second she was in the city making cakes for some whinny bitch's bachelorette party, the next she's in the woods and a giant ass whale is flying over her head.

What was an even bigger shock to all the Role Holders, was how attached to the woman little Amelia was and vice versa. Never had any of them seen Amelia so excited to see someone during the entirety of her stay. None of them have any idea how lucky they are that Amelia's leg healed before Nicky's arrival. Anyways, they'll admit it, they were (ARE!) a little jealous of the two foreigners' bond. The one that was the most jealous, however, was Grey. Amelia had the man rapped around her little finger and he knew it. Did he care? No, because Amelia was like a daughter to him. When she came to Wonderland HE was the one that saved her life, HE was the one that provided her with anything she needed, and HE was the one she mostly clung to when she was upset or happy. He honestly loved having the girl around. She was smart, sweet, and just the most adorable thing he'd ever seen.

When he first saw her, she reminded him of a wounded stray kitten lying on the ground covered in blood. He just had to help her. Then when she didn't want him to put her down, he felt his clock swell a little. Then he felt the need to protect her when she looked at him after he bandaged her leg. She looked so fragile but grateful to him, and then there was that tinny little smile directed at him and him alone. Grey may have been able to resist falling under the child's spell if she didn't thank him. It was so weak yet full of more gratitude than he had ever heard before. It was at that moment that Grey realized the child had unknowingly trapped him, him a former assassin who would go to the ends of Wonderland to make her smile. Especially, after she talked about her parents for the first time (it pissed him off to no end that the Bloody Twins were the first to comfort her and not him).

So you can understand the smidge (major understatement) of resentment he felt for the baker. Amelia still clings to him or comes to spend time with him every now and then, but now she mostly spends her time with _Nicky_ or those damn twins. Not to mention how much of a bad influence Nicky was for Amelia. But Nicky doesn't give two shits about Grey's opinion of her. After all she's not that big of a Grey fan either. Amelia is her little Amy, has been for over three years. Meaning Nicky will do anything for the girl to keep her happy and safe. Amelia may cling to Grey here, but she has always clung to Nicky.

So yeah, Grey and Nicky love Amelia to the point of hating each other. Envy and protectiveness are amazing things, aren't they? Well anyways, currently Nicky and Grey are trying to cut each other's throats with their glares.

"Well, Grey, considering I'm the only one who knows how to cook, the kitchen is my territory."

"I am quite capable in the kitchen, _Miss. Nichole_. So I would appre—"

"You're 'capable' of creating toxic sludge and bricks that leaves cockroaches running for the fucking hills." That's another thing Grey could not stand. All the insults and cursing were very bad influences for Amelia. He didn't understand why Nightmare did seem as concerned as him. He still refused to listen to Nightmare about Amelia cursing. She was too sweet for something like that (the poor misguided fool). "Now, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Grey just barely dodged a flying, scolding hot, frying pan that was aimed at his head. Unlike most angry woman, whenever Nicky throws a frying pan at a man, she makes damn sure it's right off the burner. She also had quite the arm and damn good aim. Grey's skills as a former assassin saved him, far more than once, from the woman's deathly precision. He wasn't sure if he appreciated her keeping his skills as sharp as his knives or not, but if she threw one more pan at him...

He ducked a steak knife aimed, once again, at his head. Well, it wasn't a pan this time. That didn't mean he didn't feel his eyebrow twitch in annoyance.

"Uuuummmm Grey, Nicky, why is there a pan burning a hole in the floor and a knife in the wall?" They looked at the door to see Amelia looking between them and the pan, sizzling on the floor, and knife, hilt deep in the wall. They shared a quick death glare before smiling at Amelia as if they didn't so much as share a flicker of dislike for each other.

"Hey Amy, you wouldn't believe it, but the damnedest thing happened. A squirrel came in and tried to make Grey its bitch," Grey glared at the woman, "so to protect his virginity," cue deepening of the glare, "I threw the pan to scare it away, but it didn't work! It clung to the wall and pulled some freaky Exorcist shit and its head started spinning around like crazy! So I threw the knife to save Grey's innocence when it got ready to fuck him with its baby-maker. It escaped out the window, though."

"I KNEW SQUIRRELS WERE EVIL! GREY ARE YOU OKAY?" Amelia threw herself at the man and bombarded him with questions and promises of vengeance. The distinct sound of Nightmare laughing himself to death could be heard from somewhere within the tower. While reassuring the girl that he, in fact, did not need her to hunt down an evil rabid squirrel, Grey glared at the smirking Nicky. Oh, how he wanted to run at least one of his knives through her. Sadly, he knew Amelia would never forgive him if he did so.

"Hey Amy, wanna give me a hand with lunch? We can pack some up and hang with Dee and Dum." Nicky knew just the right buttons to push in Grey. After all, hers were pretty similar. Not the same but close enough.

"Really?!" The amount of excited expectation in Amelia's voice pained Grey.

"Yep!"

"Can Grey help?" Nicky did not like that idea, but apparently Grey did.

"Of course I can Amelia," Grey said happily to the little girl, with a smirk aimed directly at Nicky. At that moment Nicky realized that someone was going to die before lunch was finished, and it wasn't going to be Amelia or her.

"Fine, Grey, start preparing the veggies. Amy, give me a hand with everything else." Amelia hopped over to where the aprons were stashed and pulled two out, a large one and a tinny one. She threw the large one at Grey and started putting the tinny one on herself. Before Nicky had a chance to move, Grey swooped in and tied off the apron for Amelia.

"Thanks Grey!" The child was oblivious to the heated glares shared between the two adults. It's probably for the best. Amelia would have taken advantage of their rivalry in some way if she knew about it. It's also probably for the best that only Nicky knew about that side of the kid while Grey just didn't want to upset the little girl. It kept them from opening their mouth about not liking each other. "Alright Nicky, what do you want me to do?"

"First, wash your damn hands. I already did and got all the crap we need to make my awesome burgers."

"Sweet! Come on Grey, you have to wash your hands too!" Nicky frowned as Amelia took Grey by the hand and ran to the sink. Grey found the girl's enthusiasm to be endearing. He was also actually surprised that Nicky has the sense to wash your hands before touching food. He gave her a half a point for that, but she was still a bad example. However, that half point became a full one when he saw exactly HOW prepared and organized the woman was when she was about to cook.

The ground beef was in a large bowl, awaiting preparation. The appropriate number of eggs was next to the bowl, a good distance from the counter's edge. The vegetables (carrots, tomatoes and lettuce) were neatly placed by the cutting board and another bowl, awaiting chopping/slicing and tearing. Pre-sliced cheese was on a plate by the lettuce bowl. Pre-grounded black pepper, salt, and garlic were awaiting use in small bowls. Freshly baked rolls were cooling in the windowsill. However, he was confused about the carrots, bowls of what appeared to be batter and icing, and the flour lined baking pan by the oven.

"Hey Nicky, are we baking a cake to?" The woman looked at Amelia before smirking and setting the oven to a memorized temperature.

"How else do you expect to distract that identity confused rabbit? You and I both know we won't be able to get Dee and Dum away from that gate unless that Not-Rabbit is sidetracked." Amelia giggled. Okay, Grey had to admit that was good preplanning, but he still detested the woman. She is such a bad influence for his little Amelia.

"Alright Grey, you start turning those carrots into shreds, can't bake the cake till that's done." Nicky cracks the eggs into the beef, "Amy, you're going to add the pepper, salt, and garlic to the meat while I squish them all together." Nodding her head, Amelia got right to work. Grey was a little insulted that he was placed on chopping duty, but smiled when he noted how Amelia was making sound effects while doing her part. So, swallowing his pride, Grey did as the woman commanded. He got yelled at, and had an egg thrown at him, when he didn't make the carrot sheds even. Never before had he realized there was, in fact, a wrong way to cut a carrot. He corrected his "sin" until the shreds reached the woman's approval and added them into the cake batter.

"Now Grey, if you can manage it, mix the batter." Now he really wanted to strangle the woman.

"Don't take it personally Grey. Nicky just takes cooking very seriously. She was the same way with me when I first helped her in the kitchen." He looked at the cheery child flattening raw hamburger balls into odd shapes. Then at the woman taking great care to roll every meat ball with the exact same amount of meat and into the exact same rounded shape. When she caught him staring, Nicky glared at him.

"Well? Come on already! That batter's not going to mix itself!" Grey glared back at the woman before silently fulfilling her command. He still got yelled at for not mixing it evenly. There was, apparently, too many carrot shreds clumped in one area. When he corrected that mistake, he poured the batter into the baking pan. He made damn sure it was in there evenly. Surprisingly, Nicky didn't yell at him and told him to carefully stick it in the oven and to set the timer correctly. She emphasized the correctly part. Amelia was giggling the entire time, finding how the two interacted to be hilarious.

"Grey come flip these burgers while we wash our hands." It appeared only Amelia wanted Grey's direct involvement in the cooking process. Nicky did NOT trust the man anywhere near the food, but wanted to pacify Amelia. She swore that, once her hands were clean again, she was kicking Grey out of her flipping spot before he burned the burgers black. She did just that right after she finished drying her hands. No seriously, she kicked his side as hard as she could to make him move, not even bothering to ask politely. Grey was about to comment before Amelia, now with clean hands, dragged him back over to the vegetables.

"Okay Grey, slice the tomatoes two pennies thin while I tear the lettuce. Make sure they're all that thin or Nicky will yell at you again!" Grey was tempted to test the woman and slice the tomatoes thinker, but wanted to show Amelia his skills with knives. In less than thirty seconds, he had all the tomatoes sliced at the specified thickness. Amelia was impressed, and showed it by her clapping and praise. Grey glowed with pride, glad he amazed the little girl.

"Tsk showoff," grumbled Nicky under her breath. Grey felt his eyebrow twitch, but opted to help Amelia tear more lettuce. Nicky, not liking being shown up by the man, started to tap her spatulas against the stove top and flip them in the air in time with the burgers in a fast beat rhythmic fashion. It achieved the desired effect. Amelia was focused on Nicky again in amazement, paying Grey little to no attention. Grey was not happy with the smirking Nicky.

The woman had balls; any Role Holder would give her that. She also had the ability to piss them all off. Well except Pierce and Elliot. Those two always managed to squeeze their respective favorite cakes or treats out of her with their big sweet as candy eyes and blissfully happy smiles. Anyways, Nicky was successfully pissing Grey off. Every time he had Amelia focused on him, Nicky comes up with some way to gain the girl's attention. Grey was considering, not for the first time, the best way to kill her without Amelia noticing.

He was brought out of his dark thoughts by the sound of a metal spoon hitting the counter top. What he saw made his anger melt into adoration. Amelia pulled a couple of utensils out and was trying to match Nicky's rhythm. He found it funny that, whenever Amelia finally got the hang of it, Nicky would change the rhythm up completely causing Amelia to glare at her and try harder to match her. The sheer determination in Amelia's eyes was almost too adorable for Grey to take. Eventually, Amelia collapsed laughing the thirty-second time Nicky changed the rhythm. It was just too adorable, so Grey picked the girl up for a hug and chuckled with her.

Nicky pursed her lips at the scene, due to her mixed feelings. She knew the man meant Amelia no harm, in fact she knew how he viewed the child, she just really didn't want to him to accidently hurt Amelia. That was the main reason she butted into their bonding time. Nicky knew for a fact it wouldn't take much to devastate Amelia. It was the reason she didn't like that Alice girl, too damn nosey and always said the wrong fucking things. More than once she had to be held back from ripping the chick's tongue out. If Nicky was honest with herself, she would say she was happy that Grey and Amelia were close. It was her protectiveness that got in the way. Amelia lost her parent, to both death and abandonment; Nicky just really didn't want her to loose what could be another parental figure, or be hurt by one. You really can't blame the woman for giving Grey hell.

So, to break up the hug fest, Nicky threw a burger at Grey's face. For once, what she threw at him hit its target. Amelia burst into a new bout of laughter. When the burger comically slid off Grey's face, you could see the cold glare aimed at the now whistling Nicky, who was nonchalantly flipping the practically done burgers. He wouldn't kill the woman because of Amelia, but he was going to get her back for that one. Looking at the sliced tomatoes, Grey knew it was childish but he picked a few slices up and threw them at the unsuspecting Nicky's head. They hit their target dead on.

The result: Nicky turning off the stove, too quietly for comfort, as Amelia jumping out of his arms grinning and running over to put the burgers on a plate. Before Grey had time to comprehend what exactly was going to happen, he was tackled to the ground by a raging, but surprisingly not PMSing, Nicky. Grey did not like the pleasantly thrilling sensation that wrapped around his body when Nicky got a firm grip on his throat, right over his lizard tattoo. When he couldn't gently get her to let go of him while she was on top of him, he wrapped his legs around her waist and flipped their position hoping to disorientate her. Despite the new position, Nicky did not release his throat. She actually tightened it. He just learned that her killer arm is actually matched by her killer grip. No matter what Grey did, he could not tear her hands from his neck. The tight grip over his tattoo was really NOT helping anything.

So he did the only thing he could, he punched Nicky in the stomach. Once her gripped loosened at the sudden harsh blow, Grey ripped her hands from his neck and pinned them to the ground. Once she realized what happed Nicky got even more pissed. She started struggling like a wild cat, accidentally brushing against an area Grey really wished she didn't. He forced himself to calm down and pinned her legs with his.

During their struggle, neither of them noticed the cake timer go off or Amelia grabbing the oven mitts after turning off the timer. They also didn't notice her taking the cake out of the oven, or her closing it, or her turning it off. They did, however, hear the distant sound of Amelia in pain after she accidentally burnt herself trying to get the cake out of the pan. Snapping their head in her direction and realize she was cradling her hand. Without hesitation they swarmed her and, after seeing the burn, got right to work.

Nicky picked Amelia up and ran her hand under cold water while Grey ran at top speed to fetch burn clean and bandages. Once he got back Nicky gently dried off Amelia's hand and held it out for Grey. He quickly, and gently, rubbed the burn cream on her hand and had it bandaged. Nicky smacked him upside the head after he all but smothered Amelia's hand in the cream and made it look like a giant mitten of bandages. It's amazing how efficiently they could work together when they were seconds away from killing each other just moments ago.

Somewhere in the tower, Nightmare released a sigh. How he wished those two would settle their differences and realize their main "threat" wasn't each other but the Bloody Twins. Dee and Dum have already wormed their way into Amelia's heart, and had the intention of becoming the ones who she falls in love with. They were almost the same age as Amelia and could grow up together. They liked the idea of being her "childhood sweet hearts," as Alice called it. It was almost sad how Nicky's and Grey's constant arguing had allowed for Amelia to become closer to the twins than she probably would have at such a rapid pace. Nightmare smiled, now if only Amelia would stop being so clueless around the twins and the over protective idiots, everyone could live happily.

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So, what do you think? If you have any requests for a one-shot, let me know. I'll do my best to write it.


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